What is the spiritual path?

When we embarke on the spiritual path, it comes from an inner surge, the arising of a need to grow and evolve and to experience the Truth of who we are. It can happen as a result of tremendous trauma or difficulty or we may finally come to the realisation that our automatic ways of being are no longer working in our lives, but are actually becoming a hindrance to getting what we say we want. In a sense, we are driven by something to something "else". What that something is, we do not know, but it is driving us nonetheless. Consider that it is our Soul or Higher Self, the unseen, energetic spirit consciousness that is part of all of Life. For the purpose of this blog, I will refer to this simply as the Self.

It is our higher self's desire to experience that which helps us become aware that seperation is an illusion and through this awareness, release this illusion. This is the transformational process of the spiritual path: releasing that which keeps us separate, or said another way, releasing that which interferes with who we really are.

Who are we then really? What is Real? What is Truth? What is Self? The moment we can answer this question, we know there is only one answer: I AM [1]. 
The moment this realisation is experienced, all sense of separation disappears and we have merged with the One (consciousness). We have attained enlightenment, Nirvana, God consciousness, sainthood or whatever you want to call it. We will know whatever there is to know in this reality and beyond!

So then, what is the spiritual path and what can we expect? The spiritual path is an inner longing for Truth, an inner longing to no longer feel separate from all of life, to merge with the One (state). We move from a state of ignorance to a state of wisdom compassion to a state of knowing.

The spiritual path is a continuous journey of uncovering the truth about who we really are. Through spiritual practices, such as meditation, contemplation, and selfreflection we become more aware and learn more about ourself and the way we have been sabotaging our life (there is also inner child work, spiritual psychology and many other forms which can help us become more aware). When diving deeper into ourself, we discover which experiences have caused an energetic wounding during our developmental years, which created separation from ourself. When that sepraration happend, we began to see the world through the disformed lenses of your parents, sibling and peers. Limiting beliefs started to form in our subconscious mind. This separation forced us to protect ourself from "them" and we started to create a new "self" (the personality) that would help us survive and ultimately do well in the world. This is the self you know yourself to be today.

What is this energetic wounding? When we are born, we come into this world with a genetic blueprint. It is based on our particular energy with which we enter this world. This blueprint makes us susceptibel to certain behaviours and perceptions.  When we come into this world, we are open and still connected to the Unified Field around us. We live in innocence and bliss (although I'm sure there are different degrees based on our own particular energy).

When we come in contact with those around us of a different vibration, our innocence gets violated by other vibrations, we get "wounded" and we experience that as pain. Our primary caregivers  may be mean, they may physically or emotionally hurt us, they may (emotionally) abandon us, they may criticize us, they may put us down or ridicule us, they may ignore us etc. etc.

As we do not yet have the intellectual or emotional maturity to process this pain, we superimpose a belief onto it. This can be "I am not good enough, I am a bad little girl, I am alone, I am not worthy (of love), I am weak, I am not strong etc. etc. From this belief we start to see our reality. This belief in and of itself is so painful that we start to develop our personality (the new self): "I must be strong, I must be perfects, I must be accepted, I must please others, I must stand out, etc. etc." This is so that we don't have to be reminded of our own imperfect version of ourselves and so that no one else ever gets to see it. This is what we call the Ego: the state of separation that makes us "better then" or "less then" others.
(Also see my blog post on childhood wounding).

This is the work on the spiritual path: discover what our spiritual wounding is and how does it influence the choices we make that affect us today in our daily lives. Is it helpful to dig deep into our past? Yes and no. It is not helpful to become the victim of our past and allow the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness to take hold of us. It is not helpful to blame those who have hurt us and to allow anger and resentment to fill our hearts. What IS helpful, however, is to know where the pain originated so we can finally understand, have compassion and ultimately forgive.

The more we get to know ourselves and the more we become aware of ourselves and what runs us in the present moment, the more we are able to make different choices in the present moment: choices that are healthy and respectful, choices made out of understanding, love and compassion, that build, encourage and nurture (ourselves and others).

When we start to heal the wounded child that feels separate and not good enough or abandoned or criticized (or whatever our particular sentencing is), emotions of anger, fear, hopelessness, impossibilities will dissipate and make room for higher emotions, such as love, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude and joy. We will start to have more peace in our head and our heart and life begins to become less difficult to manage. There is no longer that state of separation and comparison that drives our every move, but a sense of wholeness and connection.

This is a healthy ego!

Eckhart Tolle speaks of a stillness that happens within us. This stillness is the pathway to our True Self and ultimately to God, the One Consciousness.

The spiritual path is not easy, but those who perservere will be rewarded. No Doubt!





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[1] For more enlightened conversation and understanding on I AM, read I AM THAT by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Humility

Almost each day, I pick a card from the "Daily Challenges for Spiritual Growth" developed from the teachings of Mata Amritanandamayi Devi (also known as Amma). Two days in a row now, I have picked the card that says: "Today I practice humility".

I've since been wondering why I picked this card at this time in my life and what humility really means.

Contemplating humility, I realized that I am not a victim of that which is happening TO me. Everything that happens in our lives is the result of Karma, either destined or permitted. In this context, humility comes from the understanding that I am solely responsible for that which is happening in my life in this moment. My thoughts, words and actions in the past (either this lifetime or previous lifetimes) have created an energy residue, which needs to be balanced in accordance with the Universal Law of Karma: the Law of Cause and Effect, the Law of self-created Destiny. In de past I created my present and in the present I am creating my future. Humility then becomes about taking responsibility for one's actions, the suffering created to oneself and to others. Humility is to recognize that I am still trapped in the cycle of birth and death because of previous karmic debt and a present attachment to the illusions of the ego. Humility is to realize that the only way to reduce this Karma and to not create any future Karma, is by purifying my thoughts, words and actions NOW. This can only be done through steady and persistent spiritual practices and meditation, which will help me to release and go beyond the attachments of the ego and experience oneness with all that IS.

I further realized that ALL is God. We are part of an intricate whole which divinely guides our lives. In this context, humility comes from the understanding that if all is God/Divine, then every moment is perfect, and this moment too carries within itself everything that I need to be happy. In this context humility comes from a place of surrender and gratitude that everything is Grace. Being in this body, being in human form is pure Grace, for only here do we get to experience duality, emotions, pain and pleasure. And only from this place of duality are we able to experience the illusion of separation and ultimately realize that we are the Self and experience oneness with all that is.

Lastly, I realized that practicing humility opens my heart to Divine Will. Aligning my will with Divine Will means I am non-resistant and receptive to this moment. This moment too can be used to grow and evolve. In this moment I can TRUST that I am fully and 100% supported and loved. Humility then becomes about non-resistance and receptive to the present moment instead of resisting what is happening right now and wishing it were different.

Humility therefore is not bowing down to something greater than you, because you are worthless, or worse still, a sinner. Humility is to know that you are the Self/Spirit/Divine. This is why Ramana Maharshi said: "knowing the Self, God is known. In fact God is none other than the Self.”

Humility ultimately for me means knowing that I am God and that there is no "I" to do anything, control anything, change anything or manifest anything. Humility is to know that I am no-thing AND every-thing. Humility therefore means knowing: I am God, you are God, ALL is God.

In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna declares humility as the foremost trait of a saint: "You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of work... The ignorant work for their own profit, Arjuna; the wise work for the world."

Meeting challenges

Personal challenges can prevent us from seeing things clearly. We may then try to solicit the help and advice of others; people we trust and respect. But answers can never be found outside of ourselves, no matter how knowledgeable or helpful people are.

Everything we experience is a reflection of our inner believes and perceptions. Therefore the answers to that which we experience as challenging on the outside can always be found inside. We must go to the root belief we hold about ourselves, and the way we view the world around us.

A talented CST practitioner can help us find these answers by listening to the signals which the tissues and rhythm are providing. These signals will guide your therapist to help you by way of questioning and dialogue with you to (what I call) a therapeutic end point. This is the point where the core belief originates, this is where everything starts to fall into place and where we find our answers. If a CST practitioner does her job well and remains neutral and present, we will come to understand the challenge at a deep level. Not just an intellectual level, but a deep inner knowing. This provides us with the opportunity to look at it objectively and from a distance. This distance is pure space. And it is in this space that we find the answers.

The Journey (Part 4 - Travelling to India)

Travelling to India

When I left India in January of 2014 to go back home to Canada, I had promised myself that I would be back that same year to spend more time at the Ashram with my Guru and teacher. Throughout my preparations to move to Holland and after I settled in with my parents, that promise and longing did not leave me. Within a month after moving to Holland, I started making plans to be in India and to be with Amma again for a longer period of time this time.

The initial plan was to travel around India for a bit and end up in the Ashram. I also knew I wanted to spend some time in silence at one of the Dhamma centers. At these Dhamma centers there are opportunities to serve those who come to meditate by preparing meals and helping where ever help is required. This selfless service is called Seva in Sanskrit and is one of the paths to enlightenment. It was my intention to serve and be in that environment for a few months before going to the Ashram.

Six weeks after arriving in my parent's home, I left for India with a carry-on suitcase. My return flight was scheduled for September 22nd, which made for a stay of nearly 4 months, the most I could stay on the visa I was granted earlier. I had plans to meet up with a friend in Mumbai to start the journey through various parts of India and also secured myself a spot in the Dhamma center in Bangalore for a 10 day course.

As with so many plans in life, things worked out differently than expected. The time with my friend was not what I thought it would be and plans changed. I ended up leaving for the Ramana Maharshi Ashram on my own and spend a few days there. It was a great experience, but I felt lonely. On my journey there and back, I met lovely people; strangers who were kind and helped me navigate this vast and unfamiliar territory. After returning from the Ramana Maharshi Ashram, I found my way to the Dhamma center only by trusting in a world that was kind and honest. Like so many things with which we are not familiar, it could have gone terribly wrong, but it didn't and a greater power guided me perfectly to where I needed to be.

The meditation was a continuation of time I spent in silence in Canada. I dove deeper into myself and found a place of peace and inner wisdom. Yet all the while I felt this deep longing to go home, to go to the Ashram. So, no sooner did the course in Bangalore come to a close, or I was on a bus to the Ashram. I arrived there early in the morning and felt instantly safe and at peace. This is where I needed to be.

I spent three months at the Ashram, two of which Amma was there. How sweet it was to see her arrive at the Ashram after a tour in the US. I felt excited like a child on her 8th birthday (instead of the 50 years I was). I rushed to her car, just to touch her hand. My heart was overjoyed to see my beloved Guru again.

During the two months at the Ashram, I learned a few lessons in humility and surrender. There were magical moments and moments of pure clarity, but there were alo moments of great confusion and moments of humiliation. I saw my wounds and felt anger, but also saw blessings and felt gratitude. I confronted people with their unrighteous actions and sought forgiveness for my own mistakes and unrighteous acts. In the end, my ego was crushed and yet I felt better about myself. I was brought  to my knees and at the same time felt more confidence in who I was. It was a confusing time. One, I now realize was an extension of the dynamic which had been playing itself out with my father my whole life. I now see that I gave my power away to someone who I thought "knew better" (but didn't!!) instead of trusting my own wisdom and inner knowing.

I let myself be pushed, pulled, manipulated and used, all the while doing the things I didn't want to do, but convincing myself that I was growing. I was in Amma's presence and I know that karma is being played out when one is in the presence of the Guru, but it took years before I understood that what had happened there in India was an amplification of my own borderline addictive tendencies being played out. I see that now and can be grateful for that insight and the Guru's Grace.

Time spent in the Guru's presence is a gift. Everything that happens in Her presence is significant and carries within itself the possibility to get greater understanding of one's negative tendencies and to evolve. The lessons are subtle and it is easy to miss them, but if we are open to receive, great insights into our psyche and ego can be made known to us.

I am grateful for the time allowed to spend with such a master and to have my vibration be raised to a state of Love. I am grateful for the lessons learned. I am grateful for the Grace She continually bestows upon me and for showing me the way.

India will always be my second home.

The Journey (Part 3 - Family Time)

Family Time

My decision to give up my apartment and take a sabbatical left me homeless as of April 1, 2014. My personal belongings were safely stored with two wonderful friends. In the end, help came from the most unlikely place and I will never forget the help and support I received from those people. It is not that I ever doubted the integrity and loyalty of these two people, but their generosity still surprised me. 

It was a stressful time for me and I could not have done it without the support of craniosacral therapy. During those last two months I received 3 craniosacral therapy treatments from Nadine Saxton who has become my mentor and dear friend since I had my first treatment from her in 2011. These treatments were healing on so many levels as they provided insight into the huge step I was about to take and the drama with friends and family that followed the announcement of this decision. In those sessions, Nadine guided me to become present to the body and to listen to the tissue and my own inner wisdom. Each time the tissue confirmed that I was on path and following my inner guidance. My inner wisdom, which would be overshadowed by doubt and worry, would bring me back to a place of trust in a bigger picture taking place and faith in my own ability to see and feel what is right for me no matter what everybody else had to say about it. I would leave the session feeling realigned and balanced and in flow with Nature's gentle energy once again. You can find Nadine Saxton at http://canadiansomaticcenter.com if you are interested to have a craniosacral treatment and experience her gifted hands.

On April 8th, 2014 I arrived in Amsterdam and was welcomed by two excited and emotional parents. It was good to see them again. 

I had feelings of trepidation about being with my birth family again for an extended period of time, after 4 years since my last visit and 25 years of having lived abroad. My relationship with my family had become strained over the years because of certain decisions and choices I had made, which they had trouble understanding and accepting. As a result, I would feel judged and unaccepted and would constantly feel that I needed to defend myself, my choices and my way of life. So I would withdraw and disengage from them. I feared that when I would be with them for this long a period, they would collectively try to change me. 

Over the years, different conflicts had created strained dynamics in various forms with each one of them. During my Vipassana retreat, I started to begin to understand these dynamics and realize that they were not from the past 10 years, but originated from childhood. Somewhere during those formative years, I must have felt wounded and created mechanisms (ways of being) to protect myself. These mechanisms are complicated and are borne out of erroneous perceptions, or differently said, out of illusions perceived as being real. We think that something is happening out there "to us" and therefore we have to react "to them" in order to protect what is "in here" (in us) where the pain happens. 

Over the past 10 years, I have read many spiritual and self-help books, I have consulted with teachers and guides and met my Guru (see "the Journey - part 1"). This work has given me a basic intellectual understanding of the human mind and the human tendency to feel separate. As this understanding became physical and tangible through my life's experiences, I began to see how my protective mechanisms were playing themselves out in my life. I began to see how my way of thinking had slowly changed me and the way I related to myself and the world around me. I intellectually understood my relationships with my family, but there was still so much unresolved wounding there. When I lived in Canada and they were in Holland, it was easy to avoid dealing with it. I created a wall and felt safe. 

Because my patterns (as coping mechanisms) with my family had not been experienced in their fullness from this place of understanding, they remained in tact and unresolved. Perhaps it was time to face my wounds and shadows and become free once and for all.

Of course, immersing myself with them so fully and completely was scary. I am sure they all felt some trepidation as well. I did not know how it was all going to unfold and how I was going to feel. All I knew was that I wanted to heal my relationships with them. I wanted to heal my own unconscious patterns and the push/pull that is created through the unconscious illusion of securing love from the outside. I knew that by healing myself, I would heal my relationship with them.

My intention was to bring love, forgiveness and compassion to my relationships with my parents, my sister and my brother and to begin the process of healing myself. I felt confident in the support of my Vipassana meditation practice, which I had just learned. I thought I would use these meditations to reconnect with my heart and bring myself back from judgment and irritation (which are products of the mind) to love, forgiveness and compassion (which live in the heart). 

What happened in reality was quite a different story. I have learned that nothing is that simple. That we cannot simply put our minds to it, meditate a lot and change instantly. It is a journey. A slowly letting go of old limiting beliefs. We have built our lives around these beliefs as a way of protecting ourselves and to secure love in order to survive. It is therefore easy to see that this change I wanted to happen is far from simple. To let go of the beliefs of who we think we are feels very scary and means (to our ego) that we may possibly die. 

For me, my beliefs were that being with my family was not safe. I also felt that I was constantly judged, because I did not measure up and wasn't enough. This played itself out in a certain behaviour pattern, which needed to change. If I had learned to hide and deny parts of myself in order to be safe from anger and assault in the past, I would need to learn in the present to show people who I am and what I need. I must learn to stay true to myself and set proper boundaries. I must experience my own truth, my own voice, my own power. It is within and not outside. 

If I had learned to alienate and dissociate from myself, from people and from life, I would need to learn to stay grounded and present in situations and with people who I deemed "unsafe" or dangerous.  I must learn to speak up in the moment to fend off words or actions that are meant to intimidate, silence or subdue me or alternatively remove myself from the situation. I must experience that I matter and am worthy of love... self love!

This you learn through direct experience and not by avoidance. This you learn by seeing your patterns in the moment and realising that they don't work for you anymore. It is realising that the pain caused by these childhood wounds is perpetuated by your own behaviours and patterns of hiding, alienating and dissociating right now! It is the unconscious reaction, which causes the emotion, which causes the pain right now! And underneath all that are our own unconscious thoughts and beliefs that are colouring how we see the world right now!

It is the pain that brings the awareness to the physical form and it is the awareness that brings the insight and wisdom. This wisdom gives us the power to choose. We are no longer driven by unconscious automatic knee jerk reactions originating from our pain bodies. We now have some space in which we can witness and observe, take a step back and see a situation from another point of view. In this space we find new possibilities and new ways of being. Where before there was only one way of reacting, now we have a choice: do we choose to stay true to ourselves or do we deny who we really are? Do we choose to change or continue on a path of self destruction? Do we choose to open to love, forgiveness and compassion or do we choose to stay closed, unhappy and ultimately unfulfilled?

Next: Travelling to India

The Journey (Part 2 - Vipassana Meditation)

Vipassana Meditation

In India, I was introduced to Vipassana meditation, a style of meditation rediscovered by Gothama Buddha more than 2,500 years ago. Vipassana means to see things as they really are and is "a way of self-transformation through self-observation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body, which can be experienced directly by disciplined attention to the physical sensations that form the life of the body, and that continuously interconnect and condition the life of the mind. It is this observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion." (from the website www.dhamma.org).

As soon as I arrived home, I researched the Dhamma.org website to find a centre near me and registered for the next available 10-day course. Vipassana courses are held in 'noble silence', which means, silence of body, speech and mind. Men and women are kept strictly segregated. 

A 10 day silent meditation course is not easy, especially in the beginning when one is adjusting to the early rise at 4am and getting used to sitting in meditation for 11 or 12 hours a day. At first, I was fighting fatigue and would nod off during my morning meditation. I also came into the course with two difficult situations on my mind that were troubling me. One with a friend of mine and one relating to the move I was about to make and the fear of the uncertainty of what was lying ahead. I noticed that my mind would wander constantly in both those directions and I would conduct long conversations with people in preparation of anticipated confrontations. I wasn't sitting in meditation, but in conversation!

As the days went on, the edge of these conversations softened, then the mind became more quiet and finally the conversations ceased. On about day 5 or 6, it became so so clear that I was the one creating everything in my life. I saw the tendencies with which I had come into this world and how they were playing out in my life. I saw that my reactions to situations and people were creating either attachments or difficulties and I saw that I was the one allowing certain thoughts to take hold that were distorting reality. In that moment I clearly saw how I was the cause of everything in my life. Not that I was a bad person or that I felt regret or shame, but in that moment I fully owned it and could see it with dispassion and a neutrality as if I were observing an object in the palm of my hand.

In that moment, I also realized that I was completely willing to do the work in the course and beyond and do whatever it took to release those tendencies in order to finally be liberated from the misery that these tendencies caused in my life. I felt hopeful that this technique would be able to assist me with this intention and help me release that which was causing me pain and suffering in my life and my relationships with others. 

From that day forward, my meditations became more juicy. I began to see the pain and discomfort that I was experiencing during my sit as opportunities to practice compassion and equanimity. I began to see the free flow of subtle vibrations, which I experienced occasionally, as moments of purification of the body and an opportunity to feel the expansiveness of my true divine being. 

I began to observe the "conversations" I was having and began to understand the fear from which they originated. With this understanding, a feeling of compassion grew for the person I had become. I began to see the complexity, the beauty as well as the hot mess that was Annelise Sunanda.

People have asked me if it was difficult not to speak for 9 days or if the silence was difficult to handle. For me, and I heard for others as well, the silence was a gift. For me, the silence provided a cocoon that was protective of influences from the outside. I felt protected from being judged and from having to explain or justify myself. The silence provided space to be me and I felt safe to explore those tender parts, those fears and those complexities without being distracted by outside noises or influences. The silence also provided tranquility in the outside world and in this tranquility I could feel the support of Nature, the flow of life force that is all around us to support us in our process to rediscover our True Self.

On the last day, I cried because the experience was coming to an end and I had to leave the safety of this environment. It felt very similar to my experience in India. I did not want to leave the protective and supportive environment of the centre and return to a world where I would be bombarded with noise, expectations and negativity. I wanted to remain in meditation and protect the tender seed that was beginning to bud, but the time wasn't right. So I vowed that I would do more courses and spend longer times at Dhamma centres during my time in India. 

Next: Family time

The Journey (Part 1 - Initiation into Change)

Initiation into Change

On January 12, 2014 I arrived back in Toronto after I spent a month at my Guru's Ashram in India. Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, simply known as Amma, or Mother is a fully awakened master and the embodiment of unconditional Love. In Her presence the unconditional love that lies dormant within us begins to awaken and one will get a glimpse of one's own true essence. Amma has dedicated Her life to relieve human suffering around the world. 

My time at the Ashram was very healing. The word healing is often loosely used to describe many things. In the medical world, it means physical recovery from illness and disease. In the psychiatric world, it means processing emotional scars and traumas and in the holistic and spiritual world, it means letting go of old belief systems that cause pain and suffering in our lives. What it means for me, I can only describe as a softening of my heart. The harsh judgments I held against myself began to loose its grip as I started to accept those things that I didn't like about myself and those things that I was certain were disliked and judged by others. The state of perfection that I had been striving for my whole life began to loose its intensity and I began to be okay with who I was right then and there. 

I began to see that I have value right now, as I am, as opposed to at some point in the future when I would have released my negative tendencies and addictive patters and reached a certain state of perfection; that state that would earn me love and respect.  

In the Ashram and in the presence of my Guru's unconditional love, I began to feel safe and I began to trust myself to open my heart to myself, to others and to the world. In this state, I met some very special people and I opened my heart some more. It was magical. 

This is.... until the day neared that I had to return home. Home to Toronto, the western world with its rat race for money, status and power. Where people live in fear, judgment and anger. I did not want to leave my safe nest and go back to the mean world. It did not feel safe. I also felt that the life I had tried to build for myself in Canada no longer had the purpose or the passion it once had. And the community of which I had been such an integral part for so many years, changed to such an extend that I started to feel like an outsider. I wanted to stay in India. I wanted to spend more time in meditation and allow the love that had started to grow in my heart, to blossom. However, I did not have the time or resources to stay in India and so I left with a heart full of sadness. 

Once home, things started to unravel rapidly. I knew I could not continue my life as it had been before. Everything was shifting and rearranging. What I once held as absolute truth was questioned. I meditated many hours at the time and contemplated what I had learned about myself, my time in India and my life in Canada; my values, my beliefs and disbeliefs. 

Today I read something in a book by Anita Moorjani "Dying to be me", which resonated with me when I thought about how I feel these days: "I'm at my strongest when I'm able to let go, when I suspend my beliefs as well as disbeliefs, and leave myself open to all possibilities.... My sense is that the very act of needing certainty is a hindrance to experiencing greater levels of awareness. In contrast, the process of letting go and releasing all attachments to any belief or outcome is cathartic and healing.[...] Strongly held ideas actually work against me. Having concrete beliefs limits my life experiences because they keep me locked into only what I know, and my knowledge in this world is limited by my physical senses. Being comfortable with uncertainty, on the other hand, opens me up to all possibilities. Ambiguity is wide open to infinite potential." [1]

Being a person who needs certainty and who is in many ways risk averse, this is a huge shift in thinking and being. Most things in my life were fixed. Everything had its place and I felt in control. What happened next was a total leap into the unknown, yet feeling 100% supported by a loving Universe. I gave up my apartment and my practice in Canada in order to take a sabbatical, which would start in Holland with my birth family and which will continue in India and will end where ever I am supposed to end up. Life, as Anita says, is full of possibilities once I let go of the false sense of safety that my "stuff" and my "doing" gives me and trust that I am part of a greater whole, which has infinite intelligence and wisdom. In this state of trust, all I need to do is simply be myself and go with the flow of life by allowing Nature to gently show me the way.

Next: Vipassana Meditation

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[1] In her book "Dying to be me", Anita Moorjani describes her near death experience from terminal lymphoma. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is battling with disease and the fears related to it as well as anyone who is willing to let go of the limiting beliefs that hold us back from our infinite Divine Self.